when i was fourteen, i had an immense obsession with musicals. i dreamt about being on stage. and naturally, my first ever time stepping into the big apple landed me at the Gershwin Theatre. my family and i had just landed a couple hours ago, but that whole show, i sat at the edge of my seat. when it was over, i squeezed myself amongst the sea of fans. that day i got myself a wicked t shirt, wishing that one day i could be a part of something as special as what i had just saw. could a little asian girl even be considered?
today, seven years later, my friends and i witnessed the most beautiful live performance turn into a magical movie. at twenty one, im still that little girl chuckling, crying, gasping on the edge of my seat. it was nothing short of an spectacular experience.
but i left the theater (of course humming defying gravity) wondering why i had felt a little differently than my fourteen year old self. what i found was that the movie gave so much more depth to the characters. glinda, in my mind, had always been this silly, naive little girl. it's only now that i truly realized her privilege. that is, she lives in a system that served her and gave her the means to be performative, extravagant and "the good guy". her morals are almost muddy and whenever she's given a choice to deviate, she chooses to live by the rules over and over because, simply, it has always been good for her. what is so complex and why we could never hate glinda though, is because she genuinely thinks she's doing good. and that's why she's so lovable.
my realization made me realized that i'd grown up. i'd changed from the fourteen year old who met the story for the first time. it felt like i had grown up with the story. when i was leaving the theater, i saw a little girl dressed up in a witch hat and a green skirt taking photos in front of the posters. she had hair like elphaba's. right there, i shedded a tear. tears of joy hoping that she had felt what i had felt when i was fourteen and happy that she had the kind of representation i myself hadn't seen on broadway.
oh and i still have yet to wrap my head around cynthia's jaw-dropping performance, so i'll just leave it here.
